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Feb. 17, 2024
Practice #59 - My First Time Cold Approaching A Girl
It was scary.
Transcript
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So I'm sitting there in the mall, this girl, my age, is standing in front of me, writing
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down something in my journal.
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And I'm like nervous, but I'm also like extremely relieved and surprised and shocked and excited.
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And my friends are like over here kind of like watching, but how did I get to this point?
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What was this point?
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What even happened here?
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Well, it all started when I decided to build funnels for companies.
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I was reading a book called Dotcom Secrets and he basically said to build sales funnels.
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Like it basically a website that is very optimal for converting a customer or converting
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a viewer into a customer.
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And so I'm learning about these and I start, oh, I should actually build them for my local
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businesses.
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So I start emailing them.
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And this was very scary because I was shy, introverted, very small, confined comfort
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zone, but I pushed myself because I knew that this was good for me, good personal growth
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opportunity.
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So I was emailing them and I just remember sending that first email.
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That was extremely scary.
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Like I don't know why, but I was literally just sitting there, contemplating whether
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I should even send it.
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And like my heart was literally racing.
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So I sent it and then quickly I sent like some other emails and very quickly like sending
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emails is not that scary anymore.
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It's just normal now.
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So I was like, oh, well emails aren't very effective and it's also not expanding my comfort
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zone anymore.
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So I got to move up to the next thing.
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So then I started cold calling random businesses.
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And that was actually terrifying.
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That was like 10 times harder than the emails, but thankfully the emails prepared me for
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the calling because you learn to recognize that kind of feeling of fear and then that
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courageous feeling and like to push through it.
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So I'm sitting there and I have, I literally have the number already typed into the dial
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on my phone and I'm sitting at my desk, just contemplating, clicking the call button.
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I'm literally like empty, not empty.
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Like I'm literally so scared that my heart's beating.
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Everything is terrified.
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My mind is literally racing, it's literally numb and I'm just sitting there and I click
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call and I'm like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
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And I'm so scared and they answer the phone and I'm like, do you want me to build a website?
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And then they're like, no, and I hang up.
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That was like terrifying for me.
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But then I was like, oh, that wasn't that bad.
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And then I did it again and I did it again.
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And then quickly that came out of like that came into my comfort zone.
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And then I was like, what's the next step?
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Like this, I'm first of all, I'm all, I'm only getting nose.
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So I actually have to present myself in person.
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So then I decide to start getting in person to the businesses.
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And I'm like, whoa, I'm standing in front of this like flower shop.
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We're about to enter and I'm just standing there contemplating.
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Now there's something I didn't tell you.
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Just before this, I was sitting in my basement on my spreadsheet of all the local businesses
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that I completed just researching the best one.
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So I find a flower shop.
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And so I'm like, okay, I gotta, I quickly write down their information on my notebook,
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pack my backpack, get on my bike.
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And I'm like extremely terrified.
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And even while I'm sitting at my desk, I'm terrified because I know that this, I know
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that I'm going to do this.
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And so I go upstairs and I get ready.
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And I'm not saying anything.
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I am hyper focused in the zone because I don't want to lose focus.
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I don't want to fail.
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All I care about is actually completing this.
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I know that this is the most important thing right now.
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So nothing else matters.
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I am focused.
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And I just remember like walking out the door and my dad's like, where are you going?
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And I'm like, it's a flower shop.
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And then I leave no information given, no risks.
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I am dead focused.
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So I hop on my bike and I am biking down.
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It's in the middle of summer.
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It is hot out and I'm wearing a black shirt and I start sweating.
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Cause I'm nervous and it's hot.
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So I'm going to be biking down like with my arms out like this so I could try and dry
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out my pits.
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And I'm like, what?
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Biking down.
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And I just remember like going down the street just with this like feeling in my, in my like
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heart just I'm terrified.
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And so I arrive at the flower shop and I walk up to the door and written on the door is
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sorry we're closed until next month.
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So I am extremely relieved.
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I'm like, oh, oh good.
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Thank you.
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But then another part of me is disappointed.
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I'm like, the relief is really high, but then there's this quiet part of me that's like,
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ah, this would have been a really good personal growth opportunity.
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At this point, I don't really care much if they say yes or no to the actual funnel building.
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I just want the personal growth now because I grew so much from not being able to email
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someone to now I'm able to cold call someone.
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So I remember walking back to my bike and I'm like, contemplating my decisions.
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And I actually like turn around and go the opposite direction of my bike just so I could
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give myself more time to think.
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And I remember sitting at the curb, literally sitting at the curb of the street.
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So I'm like sitting down on the edge of the street and cars are driving by right over
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my toes, like right next to my toes.
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And I am wearing shoes.
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So I'm not barefoot, but cars are driving by and I'm just sitting there in deep thought.
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I'm like, what should I do?
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What should I do?
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And thankfully I brought my phone.
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Obviously I don't bring my phone to these kinds of things, but I brought my phone and
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I pulled up my spreadsheet.
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I was like, okay, what's the next best option?
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And I found another flower shop.
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And it's all the way across town, literally the opposite end of town.
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So I'm already sweaty and I have to bike down.
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I'm biking down.
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Get there.
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And I'm just contemplating right in front of the shop.
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But I'm not standing still, like I said in the beginning.
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I'm walking and I'm like, okay, I don't want to do this.
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I don't want to do this, but I'm still doing it.
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And then I'm like, I opened the door.
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I'm like, I don't want to do this.
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I'm scared.
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I'm scared.
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I'm still doing it.
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And I walk in and no one's to, like there's no one in sight.
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But I hear some, I hear some speaking.
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And it's like the kind of flower shop where it's literally a maze to get to the cash register.
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And so you have to literally walk all the way to the back.
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And then I saw the person.
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And I'm sweating, but it's air conditions now.
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And I remember being like nervous.
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And I was like, okay, this is literally the worst scenario possible because the person
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that I'm trying to talk to is dealing with a customer.
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So I had to stand there awkwardly with no flowers in my hand.
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So I'm not a customer.
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And she can tell that too.
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I had to stand there awkwardly, wait for it to happen.
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And then she finally gets to me and I'm like, can I talk to, and then I say her name.
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I didn't know it was her.
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Because I looked up on the business LLC search government website, the name of the owner of
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the business.
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I was like, can I talk to this person?
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And that was her.
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And she was like, oh, yeah, I'm right here.
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I was like, oh, nice.
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And we talk.
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And then at the end she was like, no, I don't, I'm not really interested.
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Or at least that's what I got from it after a couple of weeks of thinking.
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Because the real response she gave was, oh, yeah, let me write down your name.
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So I got her to write down my name on a sheet of paper.
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And then I left.
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But she never texted me or emailed me or anything.
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So I just assumed she wasn't interested.
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That was the scariest part moment of my life up to that point.
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Scariest, most courageous moment of my life I've ever been through.
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And so I go and I make it my mission to cold approach a business every single day for five
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days because I came up with this framework around that time that it takes five days of
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doing something uncomfortable every single day for it to get into your comfort zone.
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So I was like, OK, I'm going to do this for five days.
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And I find some other businesses do the same thing.
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The first time I did it at that flower shop, I was 100% scared.
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And then the second time, 50%.
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And then the third time, 25%.
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And it was just easier and easier after that.
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But on the fourth day, I was like, OK, well, this is going to get too easy soon.
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And I'm kind of addicted to expanding my comfort zone now.
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So I want to figure out what's the next step.
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And I remember back from a book I read, the four hour work week, comfort zone challenges,
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literally just cold approach a girl.
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And so I told my friend, let's cold approach a girl.
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Like, let's go to the mall and cold approach some girls.
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And so we go to the mall.
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And on the first day that we do this, we literally are terrified.
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This was the scariest moments of our lives up to this point.
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10 times scarier.
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OK, the cold call was 10 times scarier than the email.
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The cold approach to the business was 10 times scarier.
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No, yeah, it was 10 times scarier than the cold call.
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The cold approach was 100 times scarier than the cold approach at the business.
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So we're walking around the mall looking like absolutely terrified boys.
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Our faces are like this the whole time.
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And we're terrified.
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We're seeing all kinds of opportunities to cold approach.
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But we're like, no, no, no, no.
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Absolute wooses.
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And so I'm like, dude, we just got to make a move.
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We got to actually take some action.
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So we're like, the first female we see, no matter their age, they could be 10 or they
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could be 100.
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The first person we say, we're just going to say hi.
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We're not going to ask for their number.
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We're literally just going to say hi.
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And my friend wanted to take action first.
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So we went into the store and he walked.
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And he was like, he was walking around for a little while.
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And I was just sitting there at the table waiting for him to do it and report back.
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And he came back and he told me, I did it.
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And I was like, oh, tell me about it.
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And he walked up to this 60-year-old woman and was like, hey, hello.
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How are you today?
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And she was like, move on, buddy.
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Move on.
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Move along.
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And so that was the first action.
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And he didn't die.
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He survived.
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And so after two more hours of this, we started taking more and more action until eventually
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we started to get a groove of things.
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And we were just like, OK, we're not leaving until we get a girl's number.
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But then after literally like four hours of being at the mall, we're like, OK, we got
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to get home soon.
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I'm trying to actually eat food, go to bed.
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And so I'm like, OK, let's just do five or, OK, we were just going to do like two approaches
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each.
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And so he does his, I do mine, both nos.
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He does his, it's a no.
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And then the last approach is all me.
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And I'm going, I'm in this store and I'm looking for an opportunity.
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And then right as this girl, my age, just made her purchase, she is leaving.
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She's literally at the door about to leave.
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And I'm just like, excuse me.
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And she's like, what do you want?
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Oh, and I didn't notice that she said this.
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I was so scared.
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I was just focused on like my script.
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And I was like, how's your day?
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And she was like, that's good.
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And then she like immediately smiled because she knew what was going on.
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And then this never happened.
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Like, actually, this similar thing happened to other girls that I talked to that day.
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Like they would smile, no one was happening.
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And then so then I was like, something happened, like a big noise happened.
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And then we both got distracted.
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I was like, oh, crazy, right?
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Really nervous.
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And so I was like, I just wanted to end it, kind of get out of there because I didn't
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know what to say.
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I was completely stumped.
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I was clear in my mind.
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Like I didn't know what to say.
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And so I was like, can I have your number?
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And she's like, sure.
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And then I didn't bring my phone.
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I left my phone at home because I don't use my phone for things anymore.
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So I was like, this is kind of weird, but I don't have my phone.
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So can you write it in my journal?
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And I pull out my handheld leather notebook journal and a pen.
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And I handed it to her and she starts laughing.
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And she's like, sure.
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And so she wrote her name.
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And then she also wrote her number.
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And I still have that sheet of paper.
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Or I still have that journal.
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It's up in the attic, but that was the first time I've ever gotten a girl's number.
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And that experience of the progression behind email, cold call, cold approach to the business,
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and then cold approach to the girl, that was extreme personal growth.
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I did all of that in the course of, I think, two weeks, maybe even one week.
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And I grew extreme amounts.
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And then we kind of school started, so we only went to the mall like two more times.
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So we never actually got to finish the five times of my framework, how it takes five times
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to do something every day for five days.
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So we never actually got to finish it.
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And then it's been like six months since then, and I haven't gone to the mall yet.
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But that is another opportunity to expand your comfort zone.
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And it's also like, I probably wouldn't have done that.
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I wouldn't have worked up the courage to actually drive myself to the mall if I didn't have
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my friend.
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Being a friend is extremely important for these personal growth endeavors.
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:12,260
So I'm sitting there in the mall, this girl, my age, is standing in front of me, writing
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down something in my journal.
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And I'm like nervous, but I'm also like extremely relieved and surprised and shocked and excited.
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And my friends are like over here kind of like watching, but how did I get to this point?
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What was this point?
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What even happened here?
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Well, it all started when I decided to build funnels for companies.
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I was reading a book called Dotcom Secrets and he basically said to build sales funnels.
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Like it basically a website that is very optimal for converting a customer or converting
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a viewer into a customer.
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And so I'm learning about these and I start, oh, I should actually build them for my local
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businesses.
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So I start emailing them.
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And this was very scary because I was shy, introverted, very small, confined comfort
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zone, but I pushed myself because I knew that this was good for me, good personal growth
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opportunity.
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So I was emailing them and I just remember sending that first email.
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That was extremely scary.
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Like I don't know why, but I was literally just sitting there, contemplating whether
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I should even send it.
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And like my heart was literally racing.
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So I sent it and then quickly I sent like some other emails and very quickly like sending
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emails is not that scary anymore.
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It's just normal now.
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So I was like, oh, well emails aren't very effective and it's also not expanding my comfort
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zone anymore.
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So I got to move up to the next thing.
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So then I started cold calling random businesses.
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And that was actually terrifying.
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That was like 10 times harder than the emails, but thankfully the emails prepared me for
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the calling because you learn to recognize that kind of feeling of fear and then that
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courageous feeling and like to push through it.
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So I'm sitting there and I have, I literally have the number already typed into the dial
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on my phone and I'm sitting at my desk, just contemplating, clicking the call button.
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I'm literally like empty, not empty.
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Like I'm literally so scared that my heart's beating.
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Everything is terrified.
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My mind is literally racing, it's literally numb and I'm just sitting there and I click
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call and I'm like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
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And I'm so scared and they answer the phone and I'm like, do you want me to build a website?
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And then they're like, no, and I hang up.
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That was like terrifying for me.
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But then I was like, oh, that wasn't that bad.
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And then I did it again and I did it again.
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And then quickly that came out of like that came into my comfort zone.
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And then I was like, what's the next step?
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Like this, I'm first of all, I'm all, I'm only getting nose.
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So I actually have to present myself in person.
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So then I decide to start getting in person to the businesses.
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And I'm like, whoa, I'm standing in front of this like flower shop.
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00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:59,680
We're about to enter and I'm just standing there contemplating.
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Now there's something I didn't tell you.
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Just before this, I was sitting in my basement on my spreadsheet of all the local businesses
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that I completed just researching the best one.
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00:04:14,860 --> 00:04:17,080
So I find a flower shop.
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And so I'm like, okay, I gotta, I quickly write down their information on my notebook,
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pack my backpack, get on my bike.
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And I'm like extremely terrified.
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And even while I'm sitting at my desk, I'm terrified because I know that this, I know
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that I'm going to do this.
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And so I go upstairs and I get ready.
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And I'm not saying anything.
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I am hyper focused in the zone because I don't want to lose focus.
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I don't want to fail.
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All I care about is actually completing this.
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I know that this is the most important thing right now.
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So nothing else matters.
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I am focused.
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And I just remember like walking out the door and my dad's like, where are you going?
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And I'm like, it's a flower shop.
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And then I leave no information given, no risks.
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I am dead focused.
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So I hop on my bike and I am biking down.
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It's in the middle of summer.
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It is hot out and I'm wearing a black shirt and I start sweating.
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Cause I'm nervous and it's hot.
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So I'm going to be biking down like with my arms out like this so I could try and dry
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out my pits.
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And I'm like, what?
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Biking down.
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And I just remember like going down the street just with this like feeling in my, in my like
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heart just I'm terrified.
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And so I arrive at the flower shop and I walk up to the door and written on the door is
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sorry we're closed until next month.
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So I am extremely relieved.
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I'm like, oh, oh good.
87
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Thank you.
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But then another part of me is disappointed.
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I'm like, the relief is really high, but then there's this quiet part of me that's like,
90
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:18,440
ah, this would have been a really good personal growth opportunity.
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00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:25,000
At this point, I don't really care much if they say yes or no to the actual funnel building.
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I just want the personal growth now because I grew so much from not being able to email
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someone to now I'm able to cold call someone.
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00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:41,440
So I remember walking back to my bike and I'm like, contemplating my decisions.
95
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:45,200
And I actually like turn around and go the opposite direction of my bike just so I could
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give myself more time to think.
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00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:54,840
And I remember sitting at the curb, literally sitting at the curb of the street.
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So I'm like sitting down on the edge of the street and cars are driving by right over
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my toes, like right next to my toes.
100
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And I am wearing shoes.
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So I'm not barefoot, but cars are driving by and I'm just sitting there in deep thought.
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I'm like, what should I do?
103
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:16,720
What should I do?
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And thankfully I brought my phone.
105
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Obviously I don't bring my phone to these kinds of things, but I brought my phone and
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00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,800
I pulled up my spreadsheet.
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I was like, okay, what's the next best option?
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00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:35,080
And I found another flower shop.
109
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:38,960
And it's all the way across town, literally the opposite end of town.
110
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So I'm already sweaty and I have to bike down.
111
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I'm biking down.
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Get there.
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And I'm just contemplating right in front of the shop.
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But I'm not standing still, like I said in the beginning.
115
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I'm walking and I'm like, okay, I don't want to do this.
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I don't want to do this, but I'm still doing it.
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00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,280
And then I'm like, I opened the door.
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I'm like, I don't want to do this.
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I'm scared.
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I'm scared.
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I'm still doing it.
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And I walk in and no one's to, like there's no one in sight.
123
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But I hear some, I hear some speaking.
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And it's like the kind of flower shop where it's literally a maze to get to the cash register.
125
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And so you have to literally walk all the way to the back.
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And then I saw the person.
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And I'm sweating, but it's air conditions now.
128
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And I remember being like nervous.
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And I was like, okay, this is literally the worst scenario possible because the person
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that I'm trying to talk to is dealing with a customer.
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So I had to stand there awkwardly with no flowers in my hand.
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So I'm not a customer.
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And she can tell that too.
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I had to stand there awkwardly, wait for it to happen.
135
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:58,960
And then she finally gets to me and I'm like, can I talk to, and then I say her name.
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I didn't know it was her.
137
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Because I looked up on the business LLC search government website, the name of the owner of
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the business.
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I was like, can I talk to this person?
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And that was her.
141
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And she was like, oh, yeah, I'm right here.
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I was like, oh, nice.
143
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And we talk.
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And then at the end she was like, no, I don't, I'm not really interested.
145
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Or at least that's what I got from it after a couple of weeks of thinking.
146
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Because the real response she gave was, oh, yeah, let me write down your name.
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So I got her to write down my name on a sheet of paper.
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And then I left.
149
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But she never texted me or emailed me or anything.
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So I just assumed she wasn't interested.
151
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That was the scariest part moment of my life up to that point.
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Scariest, most courageous moment of my life I've ever been through.
153
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And so I go and I make it my mission to cold approach a business every single day for five
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days because I came up with this framework around that time that it takes five days of
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doing something uncomfortable every single day for it to get into your comfort zone.
156
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So I was like, OK, I'm going to do this for five days.
157
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And I find some other businesses do the same thing.
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The first time I did it at that flower shop, I was 100% scared.
159
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And then the second time, 50%.
160
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And then the third time, 25%.
161
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And it was just easier and easier after that.
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But on the fourth day, I was like, OK, well, this is going to get too easy soon.
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And I'm kind of addicted to expanding my comfort zone now.
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So I want to figure out what's the next step.
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And I remember back from a book I read, the four hour work week, comfort zone challenges,
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literally just cold approach a girl.
167
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And so I told my friend, let's cold approach a girl.
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Like, let's go to the mall and cold approach some girls.
169
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And so we go to the mall.
170
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And on the first day that we do this, we literally are terrified.
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This was the scariest moments of our lives up to this point.
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10 times scarier.
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OK, the cold call was 10 times scarier than the email.
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The cold approach to the business was 10 times scarier.
175
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:38,480
No, yeah, it was 10 times scarier than the cold call.
176
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The cold approach was 100 times scarier than the cold approach at the business.
177
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So we're walking around the mall looking like absolutely terrified boys.
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Our faces are like this the whole time.
179
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And we're terrified.
180
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We're seeing all kinds of opportunities to cold approach.
181
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But we're like, no, no, no, no.
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Absolute wooses.
183
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And so I'm like, dude, we just got to make a move.
184
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We got to actually take some action.
185
00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:27,760
So we're like, the first female we see, no matter their age, they could be 10 or they
186
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:32,200
could be 100.
187
00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,120
The first person we say, we're just going to say hi.
188
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We're not going to ask for their number.
189
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:40,040
We're literally just going to say hi.
190
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:45,920
And my friend wanted to take action first.
191
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:50,240
So we went into the store and he walked.
192
00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:55,200
And he was like, he was walking around for a little while.
193
00:12:55,200 --> 00:13:00,120
And I was just sitting there at the table waiting for him to do it and report back.
194
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,920
And he came back and he told me, I did it.
195
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:05,480
And I was like, oh, tell me about it.
196
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:14,160
And he walked up to this 60-year-old woman and was like, hey, hello.
197
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How are you today?
198
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:18,120
And she was like, move on, buddy.
199
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Move on.
200
00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,000
Move along.
201
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:26,000
And so that was the first action.
202
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,280
And he didn't die.
203
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,440
He survived.
204
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:36,600
And so after two more hours of this, we started taking more and more action until eventually
205
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,640
we started to get a groove of things.
206
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:42,800
And we were just like, OK, we're not leaving until we get a girl's number.
207
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:48,360
But then after literally like four hours of being at the mall, we're like, OK, we got
208
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to get home soon.
209
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,560
I'm trying to actually eat food, go to bed.
210
00:13:52,560 --> 00:14:01,000
And so I'm like, OK, let's just do five or, OK, we were just going to do like two approaches
211
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,000
each.
212
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:08,520
And so he does his, I do mine, both nos.
213
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He does his, it's a no.
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And then the last approach is all me.
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And I'm going, I'm in this store and I'm looking for an opportunity.
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And then right as this girl, my age, just made her purchase, she is leaving.
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She's literally at the door about to leave.
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And I'm just like, excuse me.
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And she's like, what do you want?
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Oh, and I didn't notice that she said this.
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I was so scared.
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I was just focused on like my script.
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And I was like, how's your day?
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And she was like, that's good.
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And then she like immediately smiled because she knew what was going on.
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And then this never happened.
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Like, actually, this similar thing happened to other girls that I talked to that day.
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Like they would smile, no one was happening.
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And then so then I was like, something happened, like a big noise happened.
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And then we both got distracted.
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I was like, oh, crazy, right?
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Really nervous.
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And so I was like, I just wanted to end it, kind of get out of there because I didn't
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know what to say.
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I was completely stumped.
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I was clear in my mind.
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Like I didn't know what to say.
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And so I was like, can I have your number?
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And she's like, sure.
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And then I didn't bring my phone.
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I left my phone at home because I don't use my phone for things anymore.
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So I was like, this is kind of weird, but I don't have my phone.
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So can you write it in my journal?
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And I pull out my handheld leather notebook journal and a pen.
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And I handed it to her and she starts laughing.
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And she's like, sure.
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And so she wrote her name.
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And then she also wrote her number.
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And I still have that sheet of paper.
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Or I still have that journal.
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It's up in the attic, but that was the first time I've ever gotten a girl's number.
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And that experience of the progression behind email, cold call, cold approach to the business,
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and then cold approach to the girl, that was extreme personal growth.
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I did all of that in the course of, I think, two weeks, maybe even one week.
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And I grew extreme amounts.
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And then we kind of school started, so we only went to the mall like two more times.
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So we never actually got to finish the five times of my framework, how it takes five times
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to do something every day for five days.
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So we never actually got to finish it.
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And then it's been like six months since then, and I haven't gone to the mall yet.
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But that is another opportunity to expand your comfort zone.
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And it's also like, I probably wouldn't have done that.
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I wouldn't have worked up the courage to actually drive myself to the mall if I didn't have
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my friend.
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Being a friend is extremely important for these personal growth endeavors.
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