The Second Step to Self Improvement

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,440 The reason you are too embarrassed to go to the gym is because it is against your identity. 2 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:11,360 I used to scroll TikTok all morning, every single day, and I'd waste my days. 3 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:17,480 On the weekends, I remember being on my phone all day and my mom would just walk by and ask me 4 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,920 if I wanted to go to the gym with her. 5 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:24,200 And I would always say no, even though I had a desire to go. 6 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:29,920 And I feel like this was because right in the beginning, I actually did 7 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:36,560 not want to go because I was just too busy watching YouTube, TikTok, 8 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:37,960 just spending time on my phone. 9 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:39,800 I was basically addicted. 10 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:47,440 But over time, I kept on saying no just because it became a habit and it was easier to say no. 11 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:54,680 But then I actually felt a desire to go at some times, but I would always say no, 12 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,080 even though I had a desire. 13 00:00:56,080 --> 00:01:01,840 And the truth is I was just embarrassed and I felt trapped. 14 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:08,560 After always saying no to go to the gym, it became a part of my identity to not go to the gym. 15 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:13,040 My identity was holding me back and my ego was protecting me from the gym. 16 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:20,080 The ego builds a protective wall around you to avoid embarrassment from others. 17 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,960 It basically protects you from others socially. 18 00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:29,600 When you have a certain attitude towards something, the ego latches on to it and makes it hard to change. 19 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:36,680 This is why I always said no because in the beginning I said no, so it was easier to keep saying no. 20 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:42,920 Because human instincts, like natural human nature, does not like change. 21 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:45,480 Natural human nature does not like change. 22 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:47,680 We like consistency. 23 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:52,520 So that's why I felt forced to always say no to go to the gym. 24 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,200 Because it was just a part of me. 25 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:58,960 It was now part of my identity that ego was protecting me from going to the gym. 26 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:07,440 And flash forward to today, I've gone to the gym consistently and lifted weights for the past two years. 27 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,120 I built a very nice physique. 28 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:11,120 I also built a lot of discipline. 29 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:16,600 And the reason why you're too embarrassed to go to the gym is because of your identity. 30 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:18,920 So what did I do? 31 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:23,120 Well, first I questioned my identity and whether it was actually helping me or not. 32 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,840 And this is actually a very important thing. 33 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:31,560 A lot of times we have identities that are holding us back. 34 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:37,560 Like our identity, for example, if you identify as an overweight person, 35 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:38,920 well, that's not going to help you. 36 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,560 So you have to question that. 37 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,280 Is that actually helping me or not? 38 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,160 And if it's not helping you, then you remove the parts. 39 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:50,520 So after I questioned my identity, I removed the part of my identity that was not helping me. 40 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:56,120 And I slowly started to make changes until eventually going to the gym became part of my identity. 41 00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:01,480 Now, the truth is, it was not that easy in the beginning. 42 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:04,840 The ego made it hard to go against my identity. 43 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:09,480 That's because the ego built up this wall to protect me. 44 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,320 And I had to go. 45 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:15,080 I had to just destroy the wall first and in reality, 46 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:21,800 transurfing the terms that you would use is you would reduce the importance of that identity. 47 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:28,760 So basically, once you reduce the importance of your past identity and then just make it less important to you, 48 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:33,160 then it will just, the wall will topple and then you can just go right through. 49 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,320 But the good news is that it was all mental. 50 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:41,960 And once I overcame the initial mental challenges, it became easy to go to the gym. 51 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,000 In the beginning, I knew that it was against my identity, 52 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:49,480 but I also knew that it was not going to kill me to go to the gym. 53 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:53,640 And so the more and more times you go against your identity, 54 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:58,760 the more it destroys that old identity and then you start to build a new one. 55 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:04,600 That's why I was able to go consistently for the next two years because I built this new identity of someone who was not 56 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:09,880 in the gym for the next two years because I built this new identity of someone who works out and lifts weights. 57 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,880 Now you're probably wondering, what should you do? 58 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:19,160 First, identify what your identity or attitude towards the gym is. 59 00:04:19,160 --> 00:04:20,760 Then question it. 60 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:23,960 Ask yourself whether it is helping you or not. 61 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:29,080 Then make decisions consciously that go against the unhelpful parts of your identity. 62 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:34,680 Now that you know you have to consciously go against your beliefs and go to the gym anyways, 63 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,880 you're probably wondering what you would even do there. 64 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:42,440 In the description, I wrote down the push-pull legs routine that I recommend. 65 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:48,760 I would look up videos on how to do each of these exercises and keep them on your phone so you can watch it again at the gym. 66 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:52,600 Because when I first started going to the gym, I didn't even know how to do any of the exercises. 67 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:57,000 So what I would do is at home, I would watch the video and try to memorize the exercise. 68 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,160 But inevitably, I forgot a few. 69 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:04,360 And so I kind of sneakily watched the video on my phone at the gym. 70 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:07,080 It was kind of embarrassing, but you got to do what you got to do. 71 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:14,520 Like just act like you're having a rest and then watch that video and then get after it and lift the weights. 72 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:18,360 So just follow the push-pull legs routine and get consistent. 73 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:28,360 So check that routine in the description of the video.